Leaving your home country, in my case, as a South African expat, the move to the UK has been one of the best, but most unnerving things I’ve ever done. From culture shock to changes in rules and regulations, I have navigated them all. Here are my top 5 things I wish I knew before moving to the UK.
For a step-by-step guide to settling in the UK, get my UK Essentials Guide here.
It’s not enough to be fluent in English
I imagined that because I’m a fluent-speaking, home language English speaker (from South Africa), settling in would be relatively simple. And yes, that may be true compared to, say, immigrants from Nigeria, India, or the Middle East. But I discovered so many challenges, not least of which was how to unravel all the essential steps I needed to take before I could even start to feel settled. No matter what your level of English, those first steps are a challenge for every immigrant.
Advice from expats would only confuse me
It’s quite normal for newcomers to get advice from their expat friends before coming out to the UK. Mine gave me useful tips—dress in layers, get a hot water bottle, buy a sturdy umbrella, be prepared for confusing roundabouts when you drive, get used to queuing, and more. They regaled me with stories of the beautiful places I would see in the UK.
But they forgot how hard it was for them to learn the official processes regarding renting, driving, buying a car, registering for healthcare, and how the English school system works. When pressed, they shared dozens of unfamiliar terms and acronyms like “MOT,” “NINo,” “DVLA,” “ULEZ,” “CAZ” “VED”, “Council tax,” and “Share Code,” which bounced off my skull and only succeeded in giving me a headache. Or they told me to download apps that turned out were no longer in use, causing hours of wasted time and confusion.
So I ended up grinding my way through it on my own, making all the mistakes and dead-end moves that many newcomers will be familiar with. That’s when I decided to write my book, UK Essentials Guide for Newcomers.I share everything I’ve learned and unpack the steps you must take in a logical, systematic flow, with direct links to GOV.UK registration pages for each step. Plus, there are loads of extra tips, tricks and resources to help you settle quickly.
If you want to avoid headaches and wasting valuable settling-in time, I encourage you to get the book. I sincerely wish I had one like it when I arrived.
Road rules must be obeyed!
Don’t be misled. If you’re from a country like South Africa, where road rules are largely viewed as suggestions, you’ll quickly find yourself in hot water if you break them here in the UK.
Soon after my arrival here, I gaily moved over to a bus lane, not only because I missed the blue “Bus Lane” sign but also because I couldn’t understand why everyone avoided that lane, which was so clearly open! I know the British love to queue, but this was something else! I travelled on, quietly chuckling to myself. A bit further on, though, I saw the “Bus only” road marking. Eeek! So that’s why I was the only car in this lane! I sweated a bit until the next turn but hoped my misdemeanor wouldn’t be noticed. Wishful thinking… the fine dropped into my mailbox two days later.
Lesson learned!
Even socialising has its rules
My fine for a traffic violation is just one way in which I learned that the British are sticklers for the rules—even when it comes to socializing.
I remember how my husband and I met a lovely British couple who invited us over to join them and some friends for Friday night drinks. Now, in my country, South Africa, that would mean enjoying snacks and drinks (which we would contribute to) and chatting and enjoying each other’s company until, well, until the evening wound down naturally.
We arrived at 6pm as arranged with a plate of snacks and drinks and a small bunch of flowers for the host’s wife. She seemed surprised that we brought snacks but graciously accepted them, along with the wine and flowers. No one else brought snacks. I later learned that no one brings food to a drinks evening that turns out to be rather sophisticated.
Lesson 1: Check with the host first!
Anyway, it was a delightful evening. Our hosts and their friends were wonderful company, and we were thoroughly enjoying it. But at exactly nine o’clock, everyone (including the hosts) stood up, and the “Thank you’s for the lovely evening” and “Thank you for coming” proceeded as one. Of course, my husband and I quickly stood up and did the same.
Lesson 2: When you’re invited for drinks, you arrive at 6pm, and goodbyes start at exactly 9pm!
We’ve enjoyed many similar evenings with them, but again, lessons learned if you want to socialise in polite English company!
The Indefinite Leave to Remain (ILR) rules would change
Now this one came as an unpleasant, unplanned-for surprise for us, two years after our arrival. Like the hundreds of thousands of people who came to the UK planning to settle here permanently, the abrupt 2025 changes have led to a period of great uncertainty and angst.
We left South Africa with all of our savings, have met our respective visa requirements, and have even built a house here. The possibility of being required to start all over with new visas, together with another hefty NHS levy, would put us under considerable financial strain, to put it mildly.
Despite this unexpected change to our feeling of having completely settled in the UK, would we do it all again? The answer is yes, we would. We will always love South Africa, and although there are days when we feel some nostalgia, when we weigh it all up, the benefits far outweigh the negatives for us. We’ve learned to love this country and its people, too. We’ll do everything we must to remain here.
I will be compiling updates to the ILR in a series of blogs. If you would like to be kept up-to-date on the various changes, you can register here